Why Second-Guessing Your Decisions Will Keep You Stuck
We’ve all been there. You spend days, maybe weeks, weighing up a choice. You finally pull the trigger, feel a brief flash of relief, and then, within minutes, the "What Ifs" start clawing at the door.
If you’re a serial second-guesser, you aren’t being thorough. You’re being stuck. And honestly? It’s exhausting.
Second guessing your decisions is exhausting
The "But What If" Trap
I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been guilty of this. I used to circle the same topics over and over, like a plane stuck in a holding pattern, terrified to land.
I remember sitting with my therapist once, absolutely fed up. I told her I was exhausted from going round in circles. "I just can't decide what to do," I said. "It just goes round and round."
She looked at me and gave the simplest advice I’ve ever received: "Just pick something. Decide, and then it’s done."
So, I did. I made a choice. I verbalised it. I felt okay for maybe sixty seconds. Then, like clockwork, I opened my mouth and said, "But what if..."
She stopped me right there. She told me I needed to just leave it. I’d already decided. The thinking part was over; I now needed to take action.
Why We Re-Open Closed Doors
When we second-guess, we think we’re looking for the "right" answer. But usually, we’re just trying to avoid the discomfort of change. We’re scared of regret, and we don’t trust ourselves yet.
Opening a closed door feels safer than committing to a decision, but this habit is killing your progress:
It’s An Energy Drain: Every time you revisit a decision, you’re burning mental fuel that should be spent on doing the work.
You Kill Your Own Confidence: By constantly questioning yourself, you’re telling your brain, "I don't trust you." Over time, making even small decisions can feel like you’re climbing Everest. You’re not giving yourself the opportunity to build your confidence.
Perfection Doesn’t Exist: There is rarely a "perfect" choice. There is only a choice and the consequences that follow. It’s up to you how you manage them.
How to Actually Move Forward
If you want to stop the cycle, you have to treat your decisions like a one-way street.
Verbalise and Seal It: Like I did in that session, say your decision out loud. Once it’s in the air, it’s real. Alternatively, write it down. Once it’s in ink, it has to be done.
The "Minute" Rule: Recognise that the "But what if" urge will hit almost immediately. Expect it. When it shows up, tell it, "We're not doing this today."
Action Over Analysis: The second you decide, take one tiny action that commits you to that path. Book the meeting, send the email, or buy the kit. Do something to move forward.
Still thinking about what to do next?
Remember, you can’t steer a car that isn’t moving. Stop trying to find the perfect direction whilst stationary. Just turn on the engine and drive. You can always adjust the steering wheel once you’re in motion.
How This Links to Decision-Making in the First Place
In my previous blogs How to Make Decisions Without Needing 100% Certainty and How Do You Know What to Decide? I talked about why certainty isn’t required and how to know what to choose.
This is the final piece.
If you’re fed up with the overthinking and want to make a decision you feel good about, this is exactly what I cover in my workshop:
Stop Overthinking: How to Make Decisions You Feel Good About
About Sabrina
Sabrina helps women at life’s crossroads who feel stuck and hesitant but eager for more. She helps them cut through the noise, untangle the overwhelm, and build the clarity and confidence to move forward with purpose.
Whether you’re unclear on what’s next or blocked from going after it, she blends deep mindset work with practical systems and structure to help her clients untangle what’s keeping them stuck so they can build momentum and bring their ideas to life.
A former charity professional turned movement and wellness entrepreneur, Sabrina draws on her background in fitness and physical therapy to bring a grounded, whole-person approach to transformation. She’s passionate about helping women stop overthinking, trust themselves, and take bold steps toward something that truly matters.
When she’s not coaching, she’s usually in the garden, hunting down great street food, or planning her next adventure.