Trying to Change Your Life? Your Family Might Be Holding You Back
If you’ve been trying to change your life, even in small ways, going home for Christmas can feel like hitting “reset” on all your progress.
You walk through the door and suddenly you’re acting like the old version of you again.
Quieter, more accommodating, cautious. Saying yes when you really mean no. Taking on responsibility no one asked for but everyone expects.
Family dynamics can keep you stuck
I know because I’ve been there and it’s still a work in progress - it’s frustrating and confusing.
You know you’re growing… yet around family it feels like you’ve regressed.
Most people don’t realise that family dynamics can keep you stuck, even when you’re trying your hardest to move forward.
It’s not that your family is bad or intentionally holding you back, but more that they’re used to who you’ve always been. Somewhere along the way, you learned to play certain roles that kept the peace, kept things predictable, and kept everyone comfortable. These are the same roles that are stopping you from becoming who you want to be.
Your family has come to expect you to be a certain way. Don’t forget, they are still the same people they were a year ago. They’ve not changed.
So let’s talk about what breaking out of those patterns actually looks like (without creating unnecessary drama).
1. Notice when you’re slipping back into the “old you”
Ask yourself:
Is this how I behave now… or how I behaved years ago?
Awareness is the first step out of autopilot.
2. Give yourself permission to show up differently
You don’t need your family to recognise your growth before you act on it.
You just need to stop waiting for their approval. You don’t need anyone’s approval.
3. Set tiny boundaries
They don’t have to be huge or confrontational. Just small boundaries that protect your energy:
Saying no to something you don’t want to do
Taking space and time out when you need it
Not fixing everything
Letting people handle their own reactions
Small boundaries = big change. What you may notice with this is your change in behaviour may have a knock on effect on theirs, after all, if you’re not there to fix everything, who’s going to fix it instead?
4. Make choices based on your values, not old expectations
You’re allowed to choose calm over conflict. You don’t need to please anyone - choose what makes you happy.
You don’t need to perform the old version of you just because that’s who they remember.
It is harder to grow when you’re surrounded by people who expect the old version of you.
But this isn’t you being stuck. You’re just learning how to be the new you in the one place that knows the old you best.
If you want a simple way to step out of those patterns and into the next chapter, download my Permission Slip — a quick, powerful tool to help you get honest, choose what you want, and take your next step with confidence.
About Sabrina
Sabrina helps women at life’s crossroads who feel stuck and hesitant but eager for more. She helps them cut through the noise, untangle the overwhelm, and build the clarity and confidence to move forward with purpose.
Whether you’re unclear on what’s next or blocked from going after it, she blends deep mindset work with practical systems and structure to help her clients untangle what’s keeping them stuck so they can build momentum and bring their ideas to life.
A former charity professional turned movement and wellness entrepreneur, Sabrina draws on her background in fitness and physical therapy to bring a grounded, whole-person approach to transformation. She’s passionate about helping women stop overthinking, trust themselves, and take bold steps toward something that truly matters.
When she’s not coaching, she’s usually in the garden, hunting down great street food, or planning her next adventure.